Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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