I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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