dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
