What did we do last night that was yellow?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize