just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
