it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
