We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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