I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
