If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
