Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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