He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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