Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
