i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
