I'm drive I can fine osifer
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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