That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
