omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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