i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
