im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
