Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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