So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
