he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
