We're like a lot better than the average bears
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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