They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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