I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
false alarm. still invincible.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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