So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
