I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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