Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
