he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
