I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
