i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
