Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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