Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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