There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
