Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
