i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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