Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
sex in a hospital.. check
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
