If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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