haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
