At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
