It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
