Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
