what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize