Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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