the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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