you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
