I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
