So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
