Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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