Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
