I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
