New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize