I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
