If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
being pregnant is like rehab
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
