wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
