Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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