Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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