return my video game
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
