sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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