I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
